Nov 5, 2007 - SERIOUSLY.... ?    No Comments

Got Milk?

So according to all the surveys and polls, single people far outnumber married people. Wow!! People reaching those milestone anniversaries are kinda like flying pigs…rare.

The American dating process is so messed up because of our consumption attitudes that it is most easily likened these days to one of those soda bottle contests. People think the odds are spelled out ahead of time (1 in 4 wins). They think they know what prize they’re after (free 32 oz bottle of soda) and in one twist of the cap, they know whether or not they got the prize!

Star Bovine

(Photo courtesy of:

I think it’s all about the milk. You’ve got some sad, crazy cows out there giving away the milk for free and you’ve got farmers willing to get the free milk. There are some cows that have farmers lined up for miles to get the milk because they’re giving away so much free milk.

And the farmers? They don’t care if the milk is sour…curdled…on the verge of extreme spoilage. They say they do, but they just go ahead and drink the milk anyway. They feel they have to drink the free milk. They’re wired that way biologically. See cow with free milk. Must drink milk. Everything in our society is geared to forcing farmers to drink as much milk as they can.

There are even people out there willing to PAY cows to give away free milk. And some cows are giving away free VIRTUAL milk. You can’t touch it or taste it, but it sure looks good on the page or website selling the free milk.

And on top of THAT!! We’ve got doctors and scientists out there making it so that the free milk producers can keep producing their milk whether they get sick or have other issues caused from milking so much.

They don’t tell the farmers everything, though. They just keep making the cows think that milk is something everyone needs, that it’s somehow a biological function wired deep within that they can’t ignore and so it should be free.

Every once in awhile, though, you come across a rare breed cow. This cow is FDA certified. This cow has been tested for everything. This cow has been carefully raised and feeds only on 100% natural foods from organic fields and pastures. This cow is prime stock and the milk is smooth, creamy and thick not weak and see-through like the genetically engineered hormone infested cows who have overproduced.

Instead of farmers bidding on this cow, they look at it and make excuses about why it’s too much money to afford a cow like that, although the milk would be sooooo good.

Or not. Maybe that cow’s trying to pull one over on the farmer’s. No cow could ever be THAT good….No, gotta be something wrong with THAT cow. That cow must be carrying some HEAVY baggage. It looks too good to be true. That’s not natural…a cow like THAT. You see, we’ve been so good at promoting free milk in our society that the farmer’s all think there’s something wrong with a cow that WON’T give away the milk for free.

Some farmers insist no milk is good milk…remembering the aftertaste in their mouth from old milk on the verge of turning.

And what gives with the farmers who think there might be a shortage of milk, so they keep a spare in the fridge ‘just in case’ and they go back to drinking it? Then it sits on the shelf for awhile and, no matter that it might be spoiled, they go back and drink the milk in the fridge rather than commit to buying the fresh milk!! Eww…and then they wonder why they’ve got E Coli poisoning…


So farmers…start thinking about the milk!! You want your milk from some skinny bovine that looks like it’s been to every farm in the county passing through goodness knows what in the pasture on the way to your door to get milked, all the hands of the other farmers on those udders…you don’t know where all those hands have been AND YOU DRINK THE FREE MILK ANYWAY!! And then you get the stomach cramps of remorse and the runs of regret…

Start being selfish!!! Care about yourself. Buy your milk!!

Comments are closed.