May 5, 2008 - SERIOUSLY.... ?    No Comments

All About The Service

Customer service is only customer service if the customer is doing the service. Everyone these days is out to cut costs and save a buck, but I often wonder how much are we saving really? I mean, does it really cost less to call India in order to talk computers?

And how about those customer service lines you call to learn about your bill? IF you are able to get around the system and get an actual person (hey, and these days, you think you have a person because computer voice synthetization makes them sound like a human) the human acts more like a machine in determining your problem. My theory is that their whole purpose is to get you OFF the line. Oh, and don’t forget to give them a good review on that 10 minute survey regarding customer service that you now have to take and be careful how you answer, because all calls are being recorded for training purposes…yeah, I have a theory about that, too. It’s called ‘Christmas Party Entertainment’!!

Service used to mean service. If you went to the gas station, an entire NASCAR pit crew would run out after the bell rang and check your oil, your water level, your power steering fluid, your tire air pressure and fill your tank with $.50 cents a gallon gasoline!! Now, try and find the cashier when you can’t get a receipt from the pump after using your speedpass while trying to wipe the gasoline you spilled off your hands!!

It’s the same thing at restaurants, too. Pretty soon, you’ll pick up a receiver handset that will phone India to determine where in the restaurant you will be sitting after using the service buffet line. Good grief!! And not to fault little children for being children, but have you ever gone to a restaurant and watched the children? Especially in these self-service kind of places and mom and dad keep slapping their hands away from stuff that will soon be on your plate? Like the cup lids…have you ever watched kids play with and touch the cup lids until they fall off the stack and they restack them and play frisbee with them and then put them back, but never on top, somewhere in the middle where you can’t determine? For those of you with children, you know that you can never really KNOW all the places your child’s hand has been!! But my Ice Tea needs a lid so I can take that refill I won’t really finish, as I leave, because the refills are FREEEEE!! And I’m gonna take all I can get!! Never mind that I’ll have to stop at some even more nightmarishly dirty service station restroom because of all those FREEEEEE refills!

And cheap, small napkins that really don’t service the way they are supposed to…after all, I have to use twice or three times as many to get the service of one good paper product!! So aren’t you now spending twice or three times as much on the cheap stuff to service me half as much?

Which, for some reason, brings me to women and fingernails. What purpose is served by a woman who gets false fingernails that are sooo long, she can’t even type except by using a pencil eraser to peck one letter at a time while the DMV line is piling up behind me…hey, I’m not sure why the DMV seems to employ a lot of them…but just think about this next time you see nails like that. Yes, they look pretty, but what about where that lady’s hand has been? I mean, if she’s only able to type with a pencil, think about the other things it is necessary for you to use your hands for (really think about it here for a moment folks!) and how they aren’t getting done….

Yeah, it’s all about the service….

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