OK…so one doesn’t have to be a woman to get a boob award, but it helps…Headline from real newspaper!!
Construction firm hired to build MEXICO-US border fence fined FOR HIRING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS.
Never mind that the company was audited and fined for the same offence in 99, 04 and 05. THEY WON A GOVERNMENT CONTRACT to build the border fence. They were a WELL-KNOWN government contractor, having previously built fencing around MILITARY BASES!!!?!
The company attorney ADMITS that they broke the law but that to him is not the point. To him the point is that this case merely proves that CONSTRUCTION COMPANIES NEED A GUEST-WORKER PROGRAM. Wha? Huh?
Second ACTUAL headline from today’s papers:
OBESE CLOTHING SHOULD HAVE WARNING LABEL AND HELPLINE NUMBER.
Alrighty then…who determines what qualifies as FAT clothes? Will there be a warning label on size 0-2 clothing with a helpline for FAST FOOD or maybe say a CLINIC for bulemic and anorexic treatment??
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO SELF-CONTROL???! The world is apparently suffering for a an appalling lack of it these days.
Why not put people to work with megaphones who stand beside you and tell you –
HEY you…put the fork down…now back away from the table…slowly…yeah, that’s it…!
Like banning trans-fat is going to help…fine restaurants and put them out of business…why…BECAUSE YOUR HAND COULDN’T RELEASE THE EXTRA FRIES WITH CHILI AND CHEESE?
And what is a trans-fat anyway…a fat that was assigned a cholesterol role at birth then based on their hydrogenation realizes this is a false or incomplete description of themselves?
But if it is to be a Boob Award, then the recipient must actually have boobs and this week the award goes to BRITNEY SPEARS and PARIS HILTON.
You are Britney…you’ve got a reputation as the doting mother, the mistreated wife, the career woman whose husband has forced you sale price into the outhouse. So you serve him his walking papers and tow his Ferrari. Nevermind that you stole him from a woman to whom he was already married WITH KIDS. And now you have the audacity to state in those papers that he’s a deadbeat.
You discover that service of papers means FREEDOM…so you begin hitting the party circuit and sowing oats because goodness knows you’re wanting to prove you have something still left to sell. Nevermind that you have 2 little boys at home, sleeping with strangers so you can have a good time and you can call their daddy names in public!!
Then, when you are being called on the carpet for partying too much and abandoning those precious boys, YOUR BEST DEFENSE IS PARIS HILTON!! A woman who’s ONLY celebrity is BECAUSE of her partying….a woman who counter-sued an ex boyfriend who had profited from their night of stupidity together via DVD sales to GET INTO THE DIRECTOR’S GUILD!!
This is your BEST defense??!?
Don’t even get me started on the ex-drug addict Mary J Blige coming out to defend you…